How to tell someone you have herpes?

Dealing with the fact that you’ve been diagnosed with herpes is a lot easier that conveying the same with people around you, especially your partner. People living with sexually transmitted infections are often viewed in a negative light and people don’t tend to understand that coming in contact with the herpes virus is not fault of theirs, even if you use condoms.

Regardless of how difficult you think it might be, it is essential you share details of your herpes infection. You might face rejections, backlashes, and people may also call you names, but at the end of the day, you wouldn’t be blamed for giving them an incurable infection like Herpes. Here is how you can tell someone you have herpes without making a big issue out of it.

How to tell someone about herpes


  • Don’t panic:

    Your reaction to the herpes diagnosis can make a huge difference. This is why it is important you remain calm and composed while telling what you’re going through. If you start panicking it would only add to the concern and give an impression that herpes is something that’s life threatening. Your attitude towards the condition can make a huge difference to the entire situation.

  • Learn more about herpes:

    What’s the first thing you would do post herpes diagnosis? You’d certainly learn more about it, wouldn’t you? A majority of people living with herpes make the mistake of learning more about the condition and are often under-prepared. When you don’t know the intricate details of the infection, you wouldn’t be able to convey that to your partner and end up being panic-stricken.

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  • Find the right time to make a confession:

    Experts say people often talk about their STD status when others aren’t prepared for it. It is important you set the tone right and find the perfect atmosphere to convey the details of your condition. Planning to have a brief talk after having sex isn’t the way to do. Besides, speaking about your herpes status just before getting intimate isn’t going to help either. 

  • Always have a one-on-one conversation:

    Never ask your friends to speak on your behalf, especially if you’re planning on telling this to your girlfriend/boyfriend. This would give an impression that you’re guilty and therefore didn’t have the courage to speak it out for yourself. Find a quiet and peaceful place to have a discussion and speak with all your heart. 

There is absolutely no doubt about the fact that having a discussion about herpes is difficult but it is still better than hiding it and ending up giving it to your partner. It is important to consider this as your responsibility.

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